Confidence Over Comparison

Building confidence one layer at a time—your strengths are the foundation, and your growth rests on them.

Do you ever scroll through LinkedIn or Instagram, see someone’s promotion, vacation, or carefully crafted post, and immediately feel like you’re falling short? Or perhaps during a meeting you notice a colleague sharing ideas with ease, and you think, “I’ll never measure up to that.”

Comparison has a way of sneaking in quietly and growing louder with each passing thought. It’s a common experience, but it often fuels stress and chips away at self-confidence.

At the heart of comparison is often the inner critic—that voice that says you aren’t smart enough, capable enough, or successful enough. The inner critic is shaped by years of experiences, cultural messages, and often deep-seated core beliefs. For example, if you grew up hearing you had to work harder than everyone else to succeed, you may carry a belief of “I’m never doing enough.” If you were taught that mistakes equal failure, you may hold the belief “I’m not good unless I’m perfect.”

So how do you deal with it?

It’s not about shutting down your inner critic completely. Instead, it’s about noticing it, creating some space, and reminding yourself that you are more than your thoughts. You have the power to take control of your thoughts.

Here are a few simple things that can help:

1. Make a strengths list.
Write down the things you’re proud of—big or small. Maybe it’s finishing a tough project, maybe it’s showing up for a friend. Keep the list handy and look at it when you feel yourself slipping into “not good enough” mode.

2. Pay attention to how often your critic shows up.
Try making a quick tally mark in your phone or notebook whenever you notice self-critical thoughts. You might be surprised at how often that voice pops up. The more you notice, the easier it becomes to separate yourself from it.

3. Put space between you and your thoughts.
Instead of saying, “I failed at that,” try saying, “I had a thought that I failed at that.” It sounds simple, but it creates a little bit of distance. It reminds you that your thoughts aren’t the same as the truth about you.

4. Get curious about your beliefs.
When you hear yourself thinking, “I’ll never be good enough,” pause and ask, “Where did that belief come from? Does it actually fit my life now?” Looking at those old beliefs with curiosity can help you step back from them.

5. Take short pauses in your day.
Comparison and self-criticism thrive when we’re rushing or overwhelmed. Even taking a couple of deep breaths before checking your email or scrolling online can help you reset before the critic gets too loud.

There will always be someone who seems to be doing more, having more, or achieving faster. But their path isn’t yours. The more you practice noticing your inner critic and challenging the beliefs underneath, the easier it becomes to see yourself clearly—unique, capable, and already enough.

Do you want support to implement these strategies?

Not sure how to implement this or still feeling stress, be in touch. I am here to help you. Contact me to schedule a free consultation session.